They say being in a long relationship things eventually grow stale but I beg to differ! It isn't the time that makes things stale, it's not doing the very things that you did in the beginning! How do you regain what seems to be lost? Well, it is a lot simpler than you think if you want to do the work!
Now you cannot get what is lost without honesty and self-awareness. I read that there are 3 things that kill chemistry and attraction:
1. Is resentment. Resentment normally comes about when one person has to hold back how they feel many times to just keep the peace!
2. Withholding. When you hold back yourself, you take away energy from the relationship.
3. Self-Abandonment. When you primarily focus on your partner you lose yourself. What does that look like? Well, when you feel like you have to walk on eggshells in order to ensure your partner is good. We often think that we are helping the situation but often this has an adverse effect.
Now to get things back on track you have to be vulnerable and honest. You have to be honest about your hurt and resentment. In the relationship, there shouldn't be a scoreboard! It should never be forgotten that you are a team and if one wins you both win! Take responsibility in asking for what you want and need and make sure you are in a position to receive it.
You make time for real communication, and express your appreciation daily for each other! I always say that that the most important thing in your life, you find a way to do! You hate waking up in the morning for work, but your pay is what gets you out of bed. Well in your relationship, you will have those moments when you are mad and upset, but the staying the course, learning to provide the same sympathy and empathy that you would for the people at work or a friend. The payoff is lasting love, the payoff is providing an atmosphere of love for your kids!