For many I have been silent, but for the ones that love and truly care about me I haven't. What does that mean you wonder? Well, I am probably the most antisocial, social person lol. I love to help, but when I am growing through some things I can get distant. During these moods, I generally find out who is really for me.
You see I am generally the person that will reach out when I think something is off about you, or something in my spirit tells me you are not good. It is easy to know when someone is going through something if you have time invested in them or love them or just care about them. They might not stop doing things that they normally do or you don't hear from them, but society will have you think that saying you're going through something makes you weak so many resorts to drugs or self-harm.
I however have never taken a drink nor have I ever smoked anything in my life! Not to say I am better than anyone, but I have witnessed firsthand how that can mess people's life up and I just never wanted to take that chance. When I am growing through something, my silence sometimes says it all!
You see I mean a lot to many people, and I believe God has given me big shoulders to carry that burden, but there are times that a simple "You okay?" would do my heart so good! I watched a video the other day of a woman dancing and having the time of her life, only to commit suicide 12 hours later! Now that is not my fate, but I have my moments when I do need that love and support.
Now chances are I wouldn't divulge everything I am growing through because that sometimes will involve telling other people's business and I have grown to understand that some people, care about what everyone else thinks. I am also under the cloth that we should only talk about our problem once, and every conversation after that should be about the solution.
I will say this though, it sucks to be so understanding but to never be understood! Like I know people who will give everyone else grace, but because I know better I am not afforded that. But I have learned that just because I have done the work and still doing the work on myself, I cannot force other people to heal and become the best them!
I am healing but that does not mean everyone else around me wants to or is ready to. To be honest, the best version of themselves might be exactly where they are today and that is cool! I just have to decide if I want to be around it or have it in my life! You must be honest with yourself about the limitations or capabilities of others and from there decide if and how you want to show in those relationships!
Doing the same ole thing but wondering why nothing has changed is crazy! You have to do spring cleaning in your life. If you keep doing what you're doing, your just going to keep getting what you have been getting.
